4,3,2,1

Reviewer:Mark Hester

Released: 2nd June 2010

Director: Noel Clarke

Stars: Emma Roberts, Noel Clarke, Phelia Lovibond

Certificate: 15

Having bought a selection of films I settled down to be amazed and enthralled for the evening. Unfortunately however, the film I put on was 4.3.2.1. Now, generally as a fan of Noel Clarke and especially the fantastic Kidulthood I was hoping for at least a story, what I seemed to get however was some strange Smugglers Run cum Charlie’s angels mix.

The film follows the weekend of four friends and how they cope with the strange turn of events involving some stolen diamonds, gunfire, chase sequences and all the problems that transpire. The cast list seems to tick every demographic, Ophelia Lovibond plays Shannon, the gorgeous but messed up outsider, Tamsin Egerton plays Cassandra the gorgeous but naive rich girl, Emma Roberts plays Joanne, the gorgeous uprooted American who’s seemingly her own family’s butler, and Shanika Warren-Markland plays Kerrys the gorgeous ninja….. who is also black and a Lesbian. You see what I’m getting at; they’re a group of unfeasibly attractive friends who you’d only ever see in real life when they stop to scream at you in the streets for being so damn ugly.

In addition to the quarter finalists of a beauty pageant 9000, performances are also given by Noel Clarke himself, a man who seems to have the one facial expression of a confused Thundercat. Adam Deacon who seems to be playing the same character he’s played in every film he’s ever been in and curiously Kevin Smith, creator of Clerks. His Cameo somewhat feels wrong, like finding out your favourite Uncle has decided to change his name to Kathy and started wearing dresses.

Now I know what you’re thinking, hey four young gorgeous girls, diamonds, guns and action, where could it possibly go wrong. Trust me it does, Jumping back to the same point on a Friday each time we pick up with a different girl and see the weekend from her perspective only to then jump back to the starting point and pick up with another girl. Whilst I see what the directors are going for the film ends up feeling like a group of stoned students have thrown the whole thing together on the last day of a media studies project, namely confusing and with a hint of travel sickness thrown in. IN addition, whilst obviously a British film and marketed as such, it possesses an overwhelming feel of Americana. From the pointless setting shift to New York, the reason for which has completely baffled me, to the general tone and cinematography. I think this works more to its detriment as it really is somewhat distracting.

Following on from the aforementioned Kidulthood, the film is a letdown with what could have been an interesting premise being reduced to the Italian job in bikinis. It may be ok for a lads night in if all you’ll be doing is drinking and talking about which ones’ the fittest, my money’s on Shannon, but in the end it’s just a confusing and disappointing effort from an otherwise promising British writer.